What to say for now is, just be patient

Another day .. ??. Still the same old dreams. Same old hopes. And same old thing..

I have noticed that I have lost touched in almost everything..

I getting this worry that one day if .. I should give up on what I believe and start all over again.. I would not be able to do so.. And that really scares me..

I am afraid that if one fine day.. I want to just forget about everything and be a new man.. I would be too lost to face it again..

So if a man gives up all he dreams of and all he hopes for and just be a normal person and live the world humbly.. Would he survive? Can he still stand up?

well as for now.. All I can do is still hold on to the dreams. And hope everything turns up alright. If not I would be one lost soul .. Still trying to search for it..

SO as people would advice.. "Be Patient !" and dream on for now..

Well I have just came back from 3 days in the hospital, YES ! z hospital.

I was there, some infection apparently. Well fever went over board .. over stressed and the project i am suppose to hand up is still in limbo. well it have to wait.. got the rest of the week off to recoupe.

No one came.. coz no one called.. and i din't have my handphone with me.. pointless also.. coz none called. damned. !! my life sucks.

I have noticed that .. If I have died.. burried/cremated what so ever.. no one would even noticed until maybe next following week that some one decided to have coffee and decided to call me. So that sucks. BIG time !

So thinking about it. being single ever since my ex left. kinda sucks. living life without someone to care for you and knowing if you are still alive or dead.

well back to being sorrow. and rest.. REST for what ?? life sucks .. coz i still miss my ex and still trying holding on to dreams.. yes DREAMS.. when will dreams become reality.. un like fantasies which you know is totally made up and unrealistic.. well dream is what you know will happen if you just get that simple break in life.. so is the break meant to come or is it just a simple excuse in a human's life to make them carry on?? you tell me..

well still no idea about life.... maybe tomorrow will tell me the answer. for now.. DREAM is the answer.

Ok I finally found out how to add the comment links choobi's page.. and thanks guys.. "YEAH fuck you all" if anyone reading this for helping me.. at least an email would help..

It's been a while.. but.. seem like i'm still in the LHC (Lonely Heart's Club) .. looks like no luck in this world for the LHC's..

As for my work.. work seems to get more and more stressfull .. well that is all in a day's job. An I can understand that.

As for my life .. it's still meaningless.. it's been like that since my ex left. well i know .. I have to move on.. I have been trying .. well god knows. I have tried.. but everytime I take a step.. the world seems to force me back .. so it's shit .. i tell you. been talking to a friend .. and the advice is that i need some one new to move on.. but. it seems useless.. everytime. i look at some one new.. the world seems. to make it hard for me.. and i makes me wanna fall back ..

I have this feeling that if i let go of one thing i believe in .. i would let go of all my dreams and hope.

My Ex- ain't doing the better part of it too.. why can't they just leave and never turn back.. they keep coming back and tell us they wanna be friends , coz they know we care and love them ( why are women like leaches. ) they suck you dry and then leave you .. then they come back and suck you dry again when they know you are alive.

I really hate this world. it's full of lies . everybody thinks about themselves only and how anything would benefit them and them alone. have they ever spend 2 sec thinking about the people they are with ?

To be honest this world have nothing more that is worth living. There used to be one last thing called LOVE.. but. in this corrupted world. LOVE is just a simple word which guys use to get women in bed.. and women use to get whatever they want out of men.

This is SAD.. really SAD. so be it. if there is nothing worth beliveing in this world.. then.. nothing worth fighting for..

If there is anyone out there who still feels that there is something to live for please speak up. coz I have lost it all .. everything i believe in.

Oiks guys /girls (if there is some..) i can't seem to get the blogging features i want on it.. looking at choobi's site.. how do i add the shout functions.. ?? damned i don't think i can get used to this..

Life is still hangging on without answers..

Still single.. well still looking .. but.. most women.. seems attached.. whenever you are interested.. damned..

what to do.... as usuall just be patient..

if anyone knows how to manage the blog template.. email me dudes..

Well not much fact, is known about Mecha isn't it? why Mecha?

well to answer that, It's basically because I have a part mechanical heart .. for people who knows it, its a plastic valve attached to my heart replacing my aortic valve.

this is due to a hole in my valve when i was a kid. I had it removed and replaced with a plastic one right after my 21th birthday. I had to face death, right after my supposeably freedom in this world, before i can even enjoy it.

This is because it's 40 / 60 % change that i will live through the operation as told by the doctors. It's a 10Hr operation.

The procedure involves draining all the blood in my body and store it in Pint(s) of blood bag(s) to be used by the artificail heart machine, for my brain. The brain can only last 5minutes without any blood to it and then i would be a vegetable. so in oder to keep the brain alive. they will use the machine to simulate my heart and keep consistant flow of blood throught it.

To do that they will have to cut my chest open. This is done by first cutting a 10" inch long line on my chest and then sawing the rib-cage apart with a surgical saw. then using a Clamp they will streacth my rib-cage open until they can see the heart. The heart is then fitted with an external pipe to simulate the veins and then all the blood is drawn from there.

Once they have done the connection transfer from my heart to the machine, they will cut out my heart and then remove the defected valve and replace it with a plastic one.

When the procedue is all done.. the blood is then pump back in to my body. and the chest sewed back.

Well i know this all sound disgusting, but. tell it to the guy who have to go throught it (Yeah Me !! DUH!!) and it's not fun! it's was a torture during the recovery period.

it was said that to be able to recover i will have to be in bed for at least 3 months and 1/2 to move around and 1 yr to lead a normal life.

I did it in 3 months, 2 weeks and i am off the bed, month 1 i was walking around my neighbourhood and the 3rd month i was moving around on my trusty C70 bike.

That make me believe that anyone can acheive their dreams and hopes, if they put their minds to it and fight for what they believe in no matter what the odds were.

Thus GOD.o.e. had arise. That was the time Mecha found somebody, whom he saw different from all the Ex he has been with. Someone whom make him see the inner side of a person and the meaning of life. with that he build his career and status. and stoped using the G.O.E. title.

I have "lived like a king". but it all went down the drain when the person whom he want most to see the inner self is unable to accept it. I did a mistake by not being open from the start and I have lived to regret it, it might be too late or not i am not sure. I have not told the someone what i have acheived because i was always afraid that the person would want me for my acheivements and not for what my heart and mind carries.
But the Truth will eventually arise. thus the story ends.

But 1 thing is for sure Mecha is now in the "Lonely hearts Club". What ever is passed, should be left in the past. that is one thing i am sure off now. If faith is meant for it to be, then I'll leave it to Faith.

As for now. What i can say.. is Live Each day as if, it's a gift for you will never know when you will die!. coz i have been there!

Well enough .. for now.. as a starter.. will be doing updates.. if i have the time.

yo starting new blogg is kinda fussy too huh??